When Transformation Brings Grieving

We forget. In the endeavor of manifesting our goals, transformation is welcomed and invited. It is the necessary path to evolve into a new way of being. But we forget that to transform means we let go of something familiar to create space for something new.

This new space is soon filled with experiences that bring joy but before this happens we often move into loss, which can accompany grieving.

Each loss has a unique way of expressing itself and can vary from rejuvenation, to relief, to grief.

There was a time I let go of a habit that caused me self harm and pain. And although I knew it to be beneficial to let go, I can remember this constant concern that I did not know how to be without it. I remember the phrase “I don’t know how to be” coming up in my mind and feeling a deep sadness but unsure of what it meant.

I later realized that I was losing a part of myself. I was losing the attitudes, beliefs and behaviors, which I had become accustom. I also felt a bit of betrayal for wanting something more and having to admit that I was responsible for holding myself back.

I learned that as we move forward in this process it can help to remember that grieving is normal and to be expected. Although the pain and loss can make us want to dig in our heels in normalcy we can remind ourselves that feeling afraid, along with any variety of accompanying emotions is a part of the process. And that simply allowing the waves of loss to wash through us is in itself the process of transformation.


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